The Search for Maid Marian
by Mizuharu the ninja
Summary: A not so bright Robin Hood goes on a quest to find a witchy Maid Marian.


A long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago in the town of Nodding Hens there was a great hero named Robin Hood and his sidekicks who helped him, Little John and Will Scarlet. Now the town of Nodding Hens had a problem. All the hens would sleep the day away and not lay eggs. The town's people could never pay their taxes, so a Sheriff was appointed by King John to live there. That is why Robin and his band of Merry Men came together to fight the evil oppression the people of England had to face.

"Give the Woodcutter's money back, you bloody piece of meat!" yelled Robin, pointing finger accusingly.

"Robin…"

"Not now, Little John. I'm trying to look intimidating."

"That's a scroll rack. The Sheriff is in the next room."

"Oh. I thought the Sheriff looked a little funny." Robin proceeded to walk into the next room, resay/yell his insult and began to monologue about how the Sheriff was an oppressor to the people of Nodding Hens.

After about fifteen minutes of not listening to Robin's rant, the Sheriff looked up from his copy of The England Gazette.

"Look, I didn't take any money. I just took two of the thousand chickens that the people have. I'm sure they will survive. I've got more pressing matters to attend to. Maid Marian of Halloween Town has been captured and King John…."

"Wait. You mean the just-turned-eighteen-and-just-the-right- marrying-age, Maid Marian. Who is the second cousin of King John?" Will Scarlet asked, deep in thought.

"Who would want to capture King John's second cousin?" exclaiming Robin, when the news finally sunk in.

"A lot would." The Sheriff, Little John, and Will Scarlet said together.

"Then I shall go save her!" Robin cried with gusto and ran outside.

After a few hours, Robin and his two sidekicks made it to the castle. It took longer than normal to get there. Robin had not realized he was going the wrong way until Little John and Will had caught up with him an hour later. The three men had entered the great hall to find an enormous man lying on a gold couch surrounded by piles of food and money. Strangely his skin looked green.

The King looked at the group. "I knew someone would want to rescue my cousin and obtain her hand in marriage. Here is a bag of gold for the ransom. The Pirates, who captured her, left a note explaining she was on their ship in the Bay of Gotha and Maid Marian was just discussing Shakespeare's plays with them."

Robin tied the bag to his belt, bowed to the king and ran out of the castle, going the wrong direction again.

"I think we're lost, Robin." Will said as a strand of thick gray mist swirled around him.

"I see a light a head." replied Robin, squinting.

The group appeared in front of a white house with three stone columns. A man in weird clothes and a gold sash walked out.

"Hello, my friends. Welcome to the house of Lucretius Tiberius, buyer and seller of enjoyment."

Robin stared at the man. "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"IT IS NOT A DRESS. IT IS A ROMAN TUNIC. Are you here to buy?" Lucretius replied, gesturing to the skimpy dressed women behind him.

"I get it we are at a poor shelter." Robin gave the bag of gold to Lucretius.

"We are looking for the Bay of Gotha. Do you know how to get there?" Little John asked.

"Just head toward the tall rock shaped like an L, take a left and go between two oak trees. You will be transported there."

Robin skipped of in the right direction for the first time and Little John followed dragging Will behind him.

The three heroes made it to the pirate ship. Robin accused the captain of kidnapping, which made the captain angry since it insulted his reputation of truthfulness. The fight went on for a while until Maid Marian made a bucket slam in the captain's face causing him to fall overboard and be ate by flying pigs. The rest of the pirates thanked her greatly because they could now follow their dream of producing a Broadway play like A Chorus Line and starter singing Bad by Michel Jackson.

After Robin was done waving good bye to the pirate crew, he turned around to look at Maid Marian.

"Will you marry me, Marian?"

Pushing her black rim glasses up on her face and adjusting the star robe she was wearing, Marian answered a big no.

"I'm sorry, but I am going to marry the Sheriff of Nodding Hens. He's nice and doesn't mind that I study magic at Hogworts. Plus he reads the same books I do. You could marry my sister, Julie."

Maid Marian, the Sheriff, Robin Hood, and Julie were married the next week and everyone lived happily ever after.


End file.
